Youthful Evil

After twenty-odd years, Robert Mugabe is still refusing to respect the democratic process and remains in power in impoverished Zimbabwe. His legacy of economic meltdown and tyranny will ultimately leave the country in tatters with any hope of recovery decades and even generations away – a gargantuan task for whatever incoming party will eventually pick up the poisoned chalice of leadership.

Still, I can’t be the only one who thinks he looks bloody good for his age. He’s 82 (yes, eighty-two years old!) and with a spring in his step and a disproportionate lack of wrinkles, it seems that being a totalitarian despot is good for the complexion, though not the soul.

Maybe he found the fountain of eternal youth on one of the previously white-owned farms he ran into the ground.

I Robot

Sad news for sci-fi fans today as Kenny Baker, who played R2-D2 in the Star Wars films, was admitted to hospital after suffering long-running problems with asthma.

Family are attending the 73-year-old’s bedside, though his son was available for comment. “Brrrb-tik-tik weee!” said T2-D2, 45, “Woo-beeew chucka-chucka”.

Air Rage Incidents Set To Increase

Bad news for air travellers this week as Ofcom gave the nod for mobile phones to be used on planes, which was, up until now, the last bastion of public transport where passengers’ ears could remain unmolested by nobheads barking into their mobys. At least on a train, if glaring doesn’t work, you can switch carriages or alight at the next station, but being entrapped in a flying tube at 30,000 feet limits your options for escape.

Recipients of calls from aeroplanes will now, no doubt, be subjected to the hilarious “I can’t talk now, I’m on the plane!” (probably swiftly followed by “Aaaargh! Jesus! Not the face!” as the caller is beaten repeatedly around the head by his/her fellow passengers).