The streets outside pubs and are soon to be (even more) littered with fag butts as the no-smoking ban exiles cancer junkies from public places. From 1st July it will be illegal to spark up in a public place on the obvious grounds that doing so damages not only those people who find sucking on the non-fiery end of a stick of shredded tobacco encased in an attractive paper cylinder so appealing, but also those around them. And about time too.
Predictably, this hasn’t gone down too well with those stalwart individuals who relish filling their lungs with tar and hacking up black mucous. Judging by a recent BBC news report, it seems a high percentage of these individuals can be found in bingo halls across the land, many of which face closure due to predicted dwindling numbers.
Five aggrieved and excessively purple-rinsed examples of this clique, each with nicotine-stained faces like screwed-up paper bags, sat grumbling at the audacity of the government to introduce the ban. “They’ve taken away our Bingo” scowled one demented old harridan to the collective nodding and mutterings of the rest of the assembled wrinklies in the way that only old women of a certain age can do.
No they haven’t ladies, I think you’ll find the bingo hall is still there. You’re just not allowed to slowly kill people in it any more.
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