Paul Merton's 'Comedy Bulldozer' Approach

I don't like Paul Merton. There are actually a few people I don't like including, in no particular order, Cher, Meatloaf, Michael Parkinson and Caroline Quentin (co-incidentally, for a short while, Mrs Paul Merton. If ever there was a need for a suicide bomber at a dinner party...) but unfunnyman extraordinaire Paul Merton deserves to be the pudgy recipient of many a verbal (if not physical) beating.

My reason for this is his spectacular mediocrity. I have nothing against mediocrity, but his comedy canoe often find itself so far up Shit Creek that he needs a paddle the size of his inflated ego to extricate himself. Given that there is nothing on earth bigger than Paul Merton's ego, not least a paddle, his means of tackling it is just to talk louder and louder, usually about having GCE in metalwork or some such kak, or ramble loudly on some tedious train of thought, ultimately steamrollering over individuals who might have something more amusing or erudite to contribute.

And yet he's hailed by other comics as some sort of God. Just don't get it...