"Braahn" Bread

The bill at the Celestial Palladium has a new variety act in the shape of t’riffic super-toothed cockney wanker Mike Reid. Hope sprang eternal, on hearing the news of his demise, that it was in fact speccy be-mulleted ‘80s DJ Mike Reid that threw a seven, but alas it wasn’t and he’s still very much with us.

He’s the second of the old school comedians to have recently shuffled off this mortal coil as Bernard Manning also wheezed his last no more than few weeks ago. However, while Mike is now no doubt having a cracking “Runaraahnd” in heaven and regaling God with ‘stenders anecdotes, Manning is probably downstairs in his own private hell in a roomful of homosexual Pakistani alternative comedians.

Frank Carson was understandably distressed by the news (which you can be sure he didn’t think was 'a cracker'), saying it was “absolutely devastating”. You can’t help but think his alarm was heightened by the very real realisation that he’s a member of a dying breed. Things happen in threes Frank…

Brucie’s safe as he sold his soul to Bealzebub back in 1962 in return for eternal sprightliness, though Tarbuck, Lynch, Bowen and Carson are probably looking more than a little nervous this morning and not tucking into their fry-ups with quite as much gusto.