I’ll probably sound like a right old granddad here, but I can’t be the only person in the world who thinks that, while the interface of the new generation of games consoles is revolutionary, some of the gameplay is a load of old kak.
I like computer games a lot. My favourite involves controlling a raccoon-like creature through a multitude of imaginary worlds, solving complex puzzles while simultaneously exterminating a gaggle of bizarre adversaries with laser guns – tremendous fun. However, a popular application for the Nintendo DS is Dr Kawashima’s Brain Training, which includes such “fun” games as noughts and crosses, against-the-clock addition and Stone, Scissors & Paper.
Hmm… feel free to accuse me of having a lack of vision, but playing Stone, Scissors & Paper with a collection of circuitry personally holds about as much appeal as dragging a stick through shit. Just because some microchip is able to recognise you’re saying the word “Paper” (and not the words “Stone” or “Scissors”) in no way makes it exciting.
An advert on TV last night for another application for the same machine trumpeted the ability to talk to (and hear) other users in real time (I believe there’s a similar device called a telephone which does much the same thing), and allows users the thrilling opportunity to swap Pokemon characters. Woo-bloody-hoo! Engaging in such endeavours is a criminal waste of human life.
Similarly, the Nintendo Wii has a very natty, and entertainingly physical, control system which is probably a right old laugh when playing tennis or something as it requires the user to swing his arms around just like you would on a tennis court (except on a tennis court you’re not surrounded by armchairs and Royal Doulton), though some of the “games” involve skipping, sawing logs in half and flag raising, providing literally minutes of fun. This is all achieved by repetitive hand movements, which is something the geeks who made these games were no doubt abundantly familiar with.
And another thing: music is all just noise these days; you can’t even hear the words. During the war… etc.
I like computer games a lot. My favourite involves controlling a raccoon-like creature through a multitude of imaginary worlds, solving complex puzzles while simultaneously exterminating a gaggle of bizarre adversaries with laser guns – tremendous fun. However, a popular application for the Nintendo DS is Dr Kawashima’s Brain Training, which includes such “fun” games as noughts and crosses, against-the-clock addition and Stone, Scissors & Paper.Hmm… feel free to accuse me of having a lack of vision, but playing Stone, Scissors & Paper with a collection of circuitry personally holds about as much appeal as dragging a stick through shit. Just because some microchip is able to recognise you’re saying the word “Paper” (and not the words “Stone” or “Scissors”) in no way makes it exciting.
An advert on TV last night for another application for the same machine trumpeted the ability to talk to (and hear) other users in real time (I believe there’s a similar device called a telephone which does much the same thing), and allows users the thrilling opportunity to swap Pokemon characters. Woo-bloody-hoo! Engaging in such endeavours is a criminal waste of human life.Similarly, the Nintendo Wii has a very natty, and entertainingly physical, control system which is probably a right old laugh when playing tennis or something as it requires the user to swing his arms around just like you would on a tennis court (except on a tennis court you’re not surrounded by armchairs and Royal Doulton), though some of the “games” involve skipping, sawing logs in half and flag raising, providing literally minutes of fun. This is all achieved by repetitive hand movements, which is something the geeks who made these games were no doubt abundantly familiar with.
And another thing: music is all just noise these days; you can’t even hear the words. During the war… etc.
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