I took it out of a white Rover 200 parked in our driveway. (The fact that the car actually belonged to us and I was “stealing” it from ourselves didn’t make it any less exciting.) It was a race against time before the outrageously miserable man from the RAC arrived to pop our vehicle (which was written off in an accident some hours earlier) on the back of his lorry and tootle it off to a compound somewhere.Rather than ten seconds flat, which I believe is roughly the time you should be aiming for while twocking car stereos, the whole operation took around ten minutes which, if ever there was a Krypton Factor style ‘practical round’ for juvenile delinquents, would probably put me in last place. (Fellow contestants would probably also cane me on the obstacle course as they’re quite used to leaping over garden fences and such like. I like to think I’d have probably made it up on the Boeing simulator and general knowledge rounds though, so I’m not too disheartened.)
It’s certainly not as easy as these talented young criminals make it look. Rather than effortlessly sliding it out of its housing in the darkness of the night and running away with it tucked under my arm in the traditional manner, I wrestled with it for about ten minutes with all the lights blazing, employing a selection of Ikea cutlery (probably not the tools of choice for your average delinquent) to try and winkle it free from the dashboard, ultimately emerging triumphant holding a slightly battered item which may or may not work in another vehicle. Time will tell.
7 comments:
What happened then Stevie, for your car to be written off?
Mr Griffles.
Hello mate. Yup – some imbecile with a temporary touch of the Stevie Wonders ploughed into the back of us while we were waiting to turn into our driveway, shunting us down the street. Bit of shock and a bit of whiplash, but otherwise everyone’s okay. The car fared less well though and was carted away that evening.
The driver claimed she didn’t see us cos it was a sunny day and the sun was glinting off the lights. Hmm... I can only assume the rapidly-advancing half a ton of metal sitting stationary in the middle of the road didn't give her any clues either.
I do hope you've haven't all got seriously bad necks that miraculously cure themselves when the cheque comes throught he post...ker-ching! It's two grand per aching neck isn't it?
Mr Griffles.
Ha ha! Mr Griffles - the very thought of it! Tut tut! Ouch it does hurt though.
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