Flying Hairy Peruvians

Police are questioning a man at LaGuardia airport in New York after he managed to smuggle a monkey onto an international flight under his hat.

Apparently, the chap (and his primate chum) boarded a plane in Lima, Peru and managed to remain undetected, even during a several-hour stopover in Florida. Their luck ran out however when the little fella, probably aware of the hazards of deep-vein thrombosis, emerged from the titfer mid-flight, and clung to the man’s ponytail.

When fellow passengers noticed the animal, they had to ask the man "if he knew he had a monkey on him”. The answer should almost certainly have been yes because the monkey – a marmoset – which was fist-sized, would have weighed (you have to assume) around as much as a fist-sized marmoset. Admittedly this is probably not a lot, but you’d think it’d be more than enough for someone to notice if it was swinging from their hair.

However, the fact that passengers felt they had to alert the man to the monkey on his head indicates that, in between the moment the hairy little traveller appeared, and the time it took for his fellow passengers to become aware of him and venture a tactful enquiry, the man must have pretended it wasn’t there, no doubt whistling nervously to detract attention from himself and then feigning surprise when his miniature companion was pointed out.

“’scuse me mate, do you know there’s a monkey on your head?”
“Aaargh! How did that get there?”