I’m no stranger to gyms, but jogging has always been a form of exercise I’m particularly crap at, which is why I thought it high time to face my demons (and the fact that my waistline is expanding at a rate greater than is strictly comfortable), and start regularly pounding the streets – of the village I live in that is, not Mike Skinner.Everything you read about jogging stresses the importance of getting into a rhythm. Being both male and Caucasian however, as well as really quite unfit (my breathing, as I thumped round my predetermined mile-and-a-half course, sounded more like a pack of huskies being mushed by an asthmatic Rolf Harris) I’m immediately at a disadvantage. Luckily though, no one was awake to hear me as I decided to venture out for the first time at 6am on Sunday morning when there wasn’t a soul around.
The danger with road running, unlike the gym where you can step off the treadmill and pretend it was just a warm-up, is that I could have found myself stranded half a mile from home, too exhausted to return, forced to erect a makeshift shelter and live off berries until such time that I could be rescued. By my lovely lady wife. In our Citroen Picasso. It’s a hazardous business…Even though my legs feel like they’ve been driven over by a fleet of monster trucks I’m quite looking forward to going out again and might even start to venture further afield. Luckily I’ve been watching a lot of Ray Mears' Bushcraft lately and feel informed enough to subsist in the wilds of Wiltshire and await rescue. Well, Ray seems to do alright out of it as his bulging safari suits will testify. Now there’s a man who needs to go jogging.
4 comments:
Perhaps I should pack your breakfast next time honey, although I'm not sure how to pack porridge and bananas! Oh well maybe just 10p for a phone call will do....
Ooh, I know: can you put the porridge in in cans and I can wear one of those 'beer helmets' with straws leading to my mouth. I don't think anyone would notice...
perhaps take some milk , then when its turned into yohgurt just add berries you pick on the way .....
Excellent idea - using the repetitive motion of my legs as a makeshift churn (and who said men couldn’t multi-task?) With the ‘breakfast helmet’ and a couple of bags of the white stuff strapped to my legs sloshing around as I go, I’ll never go hungry. Didn’t think of that one did you Mears? Dragons’ Den here I come; every jogger will be wearing them by next summer. The addition of wild berries is a lovely touch.
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